🇺🇸 Serving Patients Across Georgia 🇺🇸

I’ve never been one to follow rules or blend in. I have fiercely independent and a wild child at heart, no matter my age. When my adoptive parents brought me home at six months old, I was already far from ordinary. I fought sleep, challenged their guidance, and turned my stubborn streak into the path that shaped who I am today even though it was often painful. I was always up for trying something new and at the same time I tried so hard to fit in wherever I could. Looking back, I realize that drive to belong probably came from being adopted, but that’s not really important now.I dated here and there, fell in love once, and even got married, but that marriage ended when I discovered my partner’s loyalty wasn’t on the same level as mine. After the divorce I was alone and lost, my self esteem buried so deep I barely recognized myself. Over the next several years I made mistake after mistake, indulged in drugs and alcohol for that fleeting sense of fitting in and the rush I craved, and slowly put myself back together piece by piece.Then I met him, a guy I’d known since college. We reconnected one summer at a music festival, and the spark between us was instant. We hit it off, and before I knew it we were dating. He had spent years abusing prescription pills, and I believed I could help him get clean. For three years we navigated our messy lives together. His battle with pills, my constant search for acceptance, and both of us relying on each other in ways that felt both comforting and destructive.About eighteen months into our relationship, I slipped on ice walking home one evening in New Jersey and badly sprained my ankle. No doctor would take me seriously, so I started taking painkillers to cope. What began as a few pills to dull the pain became a two year struggle with dependence. Meanwhile we both sank deeper into codependency, using unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through days we could barely handle. Before long, we lost our apartment, both quit our jobs, and found ourselves with empty bank accounts and no one left to turn to.We tried treatment programs together. A thirty day rehab in Pennsylvania and a sixty day program in Georgia helped briefly, but every time we came home it felt like only a temporary fix. Then on a cold morning in February 2018 everything blew up. February 14 2018 started like any other day until we both overdosed, him first and then me just minutes later. Neither of us was supposed to survive that day. He ended up in jail for violating parole, and I was rushed to a recovery house in New Jersey where my parents let me stay. During the six weeks he was incarcerated I stayed clean and underwent minor surgery to repair my ankle that had never healed properly.He got out in mid April 2018, and we both had been sober for over forty five days. We felt confident we could build a sober life together, that we had finally learned how to live without pills. But on April 30 2018 my world shattered again. I got a call that he had died of an accidental overdose in his halfway house. I was at home healing from my surgery, trying to stay strong, but the grief hit me like a freight train. 2018 was the worst year of my life, losing him, needing three more ankle surgeries, and wrestling with whether to give up on sobriety or fight with every ounce of strength I had left. After that February scare I vowed I would never let substances win again and I have kept that promise.Today I am two thousand eight hundred fifty days sober, free from drugs, free from alcohol, and free from toxic situations that once dragged me down. I have a life I never imagined, a small circle of close friends who support me, a steady job that I love, and the freedom to enjoy my days without pain or substances clouding my mind. I am not completely independent yet, but every day I work toward standing on my own two feet. I refuse to go back to that broken person I was. I know who I am now, I love who I am now, and I will not let myself fall again. Life is about the choices we make, and forgiveness is always possible if you are willing to do the hard work and stay open to change. Trust me things can get better if you really want them to.Thanks for listening to my story. I hope it shows that I too am only human.